Shit My Husband Says #4

Ask and ye shall receive... or something like that.
Judging by the number of page views on my last, 'Shit My Husband Says' post, it would appear that some of you are quite interested in the weird and wonderful ramblings of my Scottish husband. 
I guess someone has to be.
Okay, I may have included the line above because I know my husband, and know that he'll be lurking around these pages, looking for what he calls, 'his fans!'
Hi Scott!
Can we all just take a minute to humour him..?
So, moving on to why we're here. There's been some crackers recently, so much so that I've been able to whip another blog post up in no time at all. So, if you fancy a laugh at my husband's expense, keep on reading...

Because men are funny! 

Spotting a McDonald's sign in a state of hunger... 'There's golden arches right in front of me... I wanna walk though them!' 
And because most of our conversations revolve around food... 'I want a Yellow Cab pizza more than I want to be married to you!' Fair point really. Yellow Cab is amazing. 
Whilst mocking my recent attempt to swim for exercise. Me - 'You swim eight lengths then!' Scott - 'I cant, I've still got sausage in me!' Ermm, excuse me?
'Babe, don't you think nipples look like upside down mushrooms?' Yes, that's always my first thought...  
'We have just enough water to make it through the night!' We have half a litre bottle. It'll be touch and go but I think we'll make it. 
'This wok's called what you should be...' The wok in question:

Finally...
Discussing pet dog names... Me - 'What about Atticus Finch?' Scott - 'What, the guy from Harry Potter?' 
LOL.
Sometimes I despair.