Shit My Husband Says #6

*Cue collective cheers!*
I know how much some of you look forward to my 'Shit My Husband Says' posts. It's been a while since the last installment - I don't know if that boils down to the fact that Scott's been having a sense of humour dry spell or I've been ignoring his waffle more so than usual? 
Either way, I have a bunch of ridiculous comments for you to enjoy/laugh at/mull over at your leisure.
Why...?
Because Men Are Funny!

"I've eaten three loaves of lasagne tonight!" - Would that be the same as pieces?
Me - "I feel old"  Scott - "You look like a freshly bloomed flower"
Me - "Babe, do you like my eye shadow?" Scott - "Yes, it looks like an African sunset." 
Erm, what?
"You know babe, you're my little egg nog!" - I'm guessing that's a good thing... or not? Eggy? Is that ever a compliment?
Me - "You've still got some of that clay mask on your face" (Yes, my husband has a stellar skincare routine) Scott - "It's ok, if anyone asks I'll just tell them I work in Africa in the volcanoes"
I have So. Many. Questions. Are there even volcanoes in Africa? Why the sudden interest in Africa?
FYI, my husband has never been to Africa!
FYI(again) My husband informs me he has in fact been to Africa - Tunisia has a lot to answer for!
*Whilst I was complaining about how cold I was in the evening*
Scott - "Do you know what you need?" Me - "What?" Scott - "A grip!"