Shit My Husband Says #11

Guess what time it is again folks...

Scott, drunk and hiccuping at brunch (it happens to the best of us!)
Me - "You need some water."
Scott - "I'm not a fucking plant!"
Well, that's me told then. 

In response to me wearing a gold dress in the desert:
Scott - "You look like an old school, Jesus-time. desert princess"
I'll take that as a compliment. 

Whilst half asleep:
Scott - "Did I just see a CGI lizard?"
I bloody hope not!

In conversation about the length of a wash cycle:
Scott - "It's only whites and you that go on for two and a half hours!"
Charmer.

Scott (In a really high pitched voice) - "Look at those eyebrows! They look like a rollercoaster." 

And a bonus one from my Sister's Boyfriend, because it was too funny not to share:
"Do you know that Mila Kunis is actually an albino?" Her parents have really dark skin and she doesn't" 
I did question him and he was 1000% serious. Apparently he read it somewhere. Bless his little heart. 

For more laughs, check out the rest of my Shit My Husband Says series.