Shit My Husband Says #5

It's that time again folks... That time whereby I lovingly mock my husband in a public manner and he spends the next week pestering me to read out all of the comments from his, 'fans' (That would be you guys!) 
Once again, there have been some crackers over the last month. If you missed the previous Shit My Husband Says post, you can check it out here. 
Now that the formalities out of the way, let's get on to the good stuff!

"If we get another guinea pig we should call it Papa... Papa New Guinea Pig!"
Me - "I'm really looking forward to organising things tomorrow, putting things in their place..."  Scott - "What, like you do with me all the time?" 
Me - "Did you hear about Cara Delevigne posting the wrong (French) flag on Twitter - how awkward?" Scott - "Who's Cara Delevigne?"
"You know how woman are crazy when they're pregnant? Well, I think it's only fair that guys have a period of time after the baby is born, whereby they can be a dick for nine months without the woman saying anything!" If you can master the skill of pushing a baby out of the end of your gentleman sausage, then be my guest!
When I'm sparkling after a festive Lush bath "Oh, you're all sparkly. I'd say like a mermaid but weird people are into that these days so I'll just say you look like a princess." Errmm, thanks?
"You know I love tickling you, it's my favourite thing to do!" We all heard it guys, right?! 
Scott's justification as to why I should start doing You Tube. "You have the voice for it... You sound like a newsreader!" because that's what we're all looking for in a 'Tuber these days!
Scott - "I absolutely really like your hair" Me - "So you don't love it then?" Scott - "I just need some time for it to sink in"