If you're a blogger, you will know that sometimes inspiration comes few and far between. You'll have days where you feel like a creative goddess and the blog posts just flow with ease, then you'll have moments where you do things like this ^^^ because you're in pretty desperate need of, 'material.'
In all honesty though, this was probably one of the most fun posts that I have ever wrote. It's perhaps one of those, 'you had to be there' moments, so apologies if this just all seems a bit strange. Anyway, I don't even remember when I learnt how to apply make up. I remember experimenting as a child, but I guess you just take it for granted that you can now apply most things with ease these days. So, I thought I would challenge my very, non-artistic boyfriend with the task of doing me up. Partly because I wanted to see how he would handle the situation, but mostly for the sheer comedy value.
Right, lets get down to the bit that you're most likely waiting for. Behold the, 'look' that Scott went for:
Down your brushes and mascara wands, because that right there is the future of beauty. Have you ever seen anything more magnificent?
If you're dying to achieve this look, then here's a little step-by-step guide to help you out:
1. Struggle with the bronzer packaging before having to be shown how to open it. Smile awkwardly, then proceed to slap bronzer all over your face because you're 100% sure that that's how it's done. Step back and admire your handiwork.
2. Next, apply your eye-shadow. Choose a colour based solely on your football team's home kit, before brushing it all over your lids - right up to your brows, taking care not to leave any piece of eyelid untouched.
3. Here comes the tricky part - Eyeliner. Spend several minutes weighing up the differences between liquid and pencil liner, before using the, 'felt tip' kind because it looks easier. Scribble a line all around the upper and lower lash line. Don't worry about precision. Add some flicks because you're pretty sure that's what you've seen people do. Swear intermittently throughout this whole process because applying eyeliner is a tricky skill to master.
4. After taking several minutes to recover from the eyeliner ordeal, look for the brightest blusher available and dust this along your cheek bones. Simple. Even an idiot couldn't mess this one up.
5. Pick up the mascara and call it eye paint stuff, then apply it liberally to the upper lashes. Take no care whatsoever and poke yourself in the eye a few times. It adds to the overall look that you're hoping to achieve. Smudge a bit of eye paint, (mascara) on your nose and then wipe it off using a face wipe.
6. Finally, you will want to apply your lipstick. Choose a suitable shade and pick it up in your hands like you're holding a dagger. Attack your face with the lipstick dagger, smearing it on and around your lips. Nearly snap said lipstick and then feel very sheepish about it, before stepping back to admire your finished masterpiece.
7. After a subtle reminder from someone, remember that you need to fill in your eyebrows and adopt a state of panic. Pick up the eye liner again and inspect it for a few minutes before settling on the brown pencil. Feign slight interest as you colour in your eyebrows, making sure that they look, 'about even.'
8. Smile, and feel very smug that you have successfully completed the challenge of applying your make up.
Please feel free to pass on this tutorial to your family and friends.
