I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in feeling this, but I find the prospect of birthing an actual human baby and looking after it, the most daunting thing going! Seriously...
I'm 26 years old and in a great relationship with my boyfriend, (I always find it awkward calling him my fiancé!) and people always drop little hints about hearing the tiny patter of baby-shaped feet and all that nonsense! Quite frankly, it makes me want to run a mile!
I blame social media for this one.. Shame on you Facebook! On a daily basis I read post after post from frustrated, stressed out and down-right exhausted parents; venting about their latest parental strife and I just thank the lucky powers that be, for my current baby-free state. I couldn't be more pleased that I haven't been crapped on today, I feel for you.. really!
Don't get me wrong, I do in fact like children. I'm a qualified primary teacher and so this swings both ways. They're fun to work with, play with, laugh with and watch grow into little, super adults; however when that bell rings and I'm out of the door, I can't say I miss them. They cry at decibels impossible for us adult-folk to comprehend. They sneeze in your cup of tea and seem to relish in touching you with all sorts of sticky, I don't even want to know what that is, on their hands! It's safe to say, I'm just not, 'ready!' I've been well and truly scarred by watching Supernanny and don't even get me started on that Born Every Minute show. My mum always reminds me of my sheer look of terror when I discovered that babies come out of your, 'special place' and with the utmost conviction, declared that there was no chance in hell that I was EVER going to have a baby come out of there!
For me, there's too much baby knowledge out there now. I know too much and it scares me. Cute baby over there, you're not fooling me with that wide-eyed smile. I know your game. But to all the mothers out there. High-five, seriously.. You probably knew all this shit too and still went ahead with the whole reproducing thing. You've got major balls! I'll just stick to nursing my hangovers and honing my mothering skills on my guinea pigs. So far they're still alive, so it's looking promising! Maybe there's hope for me yet?
