Shit My Husband Says #9

It's been just over two months since my last Shit My Husband Says post which, by my reckoning, is about 60 days too long to be without funny, man jibber. 
Perhaps I've started to zone out of my husband's ramblings or I've been preoccupied with Mr Gin and Mr Tonic, but after significantly longer than usual, I've managed to scrape together a bunch of daft comments from my one and only. 
Enjoy!

*Eyes up my outfit* "You're serving girl about town realness!" Somebody needs to cut back on those Ru Paul re runs. 
Me: "I could go a glass of wine.
Scott: "You do like a good whine"
"You look like you're going out for a wet lunch." Ermm, is that the same as liquid lunch?
*Scott is hanging the laundry out to dry* 
Me: "Why are my knickers on the floor?"
Scott: "Because they drop every time you see me!"
Cringes to one side, I think this one deserves a clap - haha!
*Scott speaking loudly on the phone whilst we have guests*
Me: "Could you be more rude?"
Scott: "Yes, I could be on the phone with my pants down!"
*Whilst having a disagreement about the fact that he listens to me the least* "Don't be like that. You know I don't discriminate against who I don't listen to!" Excellent. 
*After spotting another, 'I want to be a unicorn T-shirt* "It makes me laugh when people say they want to be unicorns. I mean, bitch please. You wouldn't even have opposable thumbs." 
And finally a bonus one from my brother...
*At his first Middle Eastern brunch* "I've pulled a muscle in my neck looking at all the deserts." It's okay, we've all been there!
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you check out the rest of my Shit My Husband Says posts, here. Thanks for reading!