A bad case of bridezilla!

5 months and 1 day, or 21 weeks and 5 days since my other half popped the question, (Not that I'm counting!) I always imagined being engaged and what that would feel like; I suppose I hadn't really thought much about the practicalities of it. The uncomfortable feeling of a foreign object on my finger. Now, I'm not complaining as my ring is utterly perfect, the boy did good; but it took me quite a number of weeks to get used to it being there. Next is reliving the night in question; over... and over... and over... again! Yes, I'm sure many women relish in telling the world and her dog about how perfect the night was, yes, how utterly surprised and blown away you were. Spilling every last coveted detail to the masses. It's lovely that so many people delight in your happiness; but when you're telling your neighbour's, babysitter's best friend, the details for what seems like the 100th time, I began to wonder if it would make more sense writing it down and mailing it out to our nearest and dearest.

Now, don't get me wrong. Celebrating our engagement was one of the happiest times of my life. I felt like I was literally walking on air. The one thing I didn't account for was actually planning a wedding!

It started quite sweet and innocent. Feet up reading a bridal magazine, lusting after the gorgeous dresses and decor. Soon, one bridal mag turned into ten and I found myself tearing pages out left, right and centre to create my own 'wedding scrapbook.' I keep telling myself it's a keepsake, but to be quite honest, I just need one place to store the 5000 wedding ideas I have amassed. 

It's all fine and well having a wonderful wedding vision, the hard part is choosing your venue. My partner is Scottish and from very early on we decided that we wanted a typically Scottish wedding. We wanted somewhere that had the WOW factor but would work with our tastes and ideas for styling. I say our... Anyway, little did I know that when that beautiful ring was sliding on my finger, a month later I would have contacted 90% of the wedding venues within a 50 mile radius of Edinburgh, created a makeshift spreadsheet detailing seating capacities and facility fees. Every minute detail recorded, down to the length of time it took the wedding organisers to reply, (because this directly relates to how much interest they have in you and your wedding don't you know?) 

After what seems like forever of scouring the internet and sending dozens upon dozens of emails, flights back to the UK for viewings, we have finally found the one! Just walking in the place I instantly knew that this was where we were going to get married, and luckily, my partner felt the same way. So, time to relax now...right?

I thought that finding the right venue would be a huge weight off my shoulders and I could finally relax knowing that we had somewhere to be married. Those nightmares of standing outside the local registry office because we couldn't make our minds up where to wed, were long gone. So why now the panic? It's like I have been hit by the pressure train. Everyone will be judging me, my tastes and my efforts on this wedding. What if we don't order enough flowers and the place looks bare? What if it doesn't co-ordinate? What if...? I hit rock bottom when I had a nervous breakdown over a green carpet. 

My control freak, OCD tendencies have caused me to lose sight of what this day is all about, and under advice of my better half, I have banned myself from all things wedding related until further notice... or until I can start behaving like a sane, rational human being again. When it boils down to it, it's just a huge party and most of my family will be too drunk to even care. I think I will plough my efforts into ordering the drinks and give myself time to exercise those inner bridal demons. 

For anyone else who is planning a wedding, head to Wedding and Wedding Flowers for lots of useful planning tips and wedding inspiration. Good luck!

Kirsty xx