My Husband's Take On Fashion & Beauty Trends

I recently joined Quora, which is one of those question/answer sites. Yahoo have one similar. You know the kind, people ask provoking questions such as, 'Is my make up racist?' Yes, for actuals, and then aspiring agony aunts like me attempt to answer them.
To shed some light, I'm trundling through a particularly rough bout of insomnia and imparting my wisdom to unsuspecting folk on the internet seems like a better use of my time than pinning inspirational quotes about cheese on Pinterest. And well, people ask me weird questions and it provides me with a few laughs here and there.
So the other day, I had a quick scroll through Quora and happened upon the following question:
'What beauty or fashion trends do men find unattractive?' 
Sensing a blog post opportunity, I decided to quiz the hubby to find out what was topping his fashion and beauty - oh hell no list!

- Eye brows. Eye brows that look like they've been drawn on with lumps of coal. 
- Velour Tracksuits. They have to be the worst possible thing that anyone could wear. It's like wearing a worn out towel. 
- Maxi Dresses. Because they look like curtains.
- Bum Hole Lips. People that give themselves bum hole lips and people that don't have bum hole lips but make bum hole faces in photographs. What's that all about?
- Anything with tassels. It makes you look like Pocahontas. He knows that I love tassels and gave me serious side eye whilst saying this. 
- Anything that says 'I want to be a mermaid' or a minotaur or whatever mythical creature people want to be these days.
- Ridiculous platform-heeled trainers. If you want to make yourself look taller, just wear regular heels.
- Phone cases that have ice cream cones or bunny ears sticking out of them. Why do you need a phone that looks like an ice cream? It's completely impractical. 
- All these tiny little bags that women have these days. The ones that look like a packet of crisps, chewing gum or... a Milky Bar. What are you supposed to fit in them?
He's just the gift that keeps on giving.