20 great excuses to get out of doing something!

Have you ever arranged Finnish lessons with a complete stranger after having a few too many beverages? No... just me then! How about popping to the toilet for five minutes and coming back with a new best friend and an invite to her boss's, sister's 40th birthday party? Naturally, you've sworn that you'll attend and even offered to arrive early to help set up! It's all fun and games until you wake up the next morning with a sore head and eleven text messages from Dave the pizza shop owner, wondering when you're coming down to help out with his short-staffing issues!

If you're anything like me, these awkward situations happen far too often and you need to arm yourself with a series of good excuses to avoid a potentially nightmare situation! So I have compiled a list of the best excuses to get your sorry ass out of any situation!

1. A pipe has burst in my apartment... There's water everywhere! Someone call me a plumber pronto!

2. I have this anxiety disorder that means I get really nervous around; balloons/oatmeal/my neighbour's socks. (You can pretty much insert anything here!)

3. What lunch date? I don't remember agreeing to this.

4. My cat swallowed a pencil sharpener and I need to take it to the vets. (Don't have a cat, you do now!)

5. Well you see, I have this rash...

6. My great aunt Maude has arranged this family portrait session you see and if I don't go, my absence will be talked about at family gatherings for years to come!

7. You will never guess what! This morning whilst I was getting ready, a pigeon flew through my window and I've spent the last hour trying to coax it out from under my bed with a slice of bread and a feather duster.

8. Did I ever tell you about the religious sect I joined the other week? It turns out that today is actually a really important holiday. I must stay home, drink dandelion tea and sacrifice a caterpillar!

9. I have a court hearing today... Pay your parking fine kids!

10. I received some absolutely shocking news last night and I couldn't possibly build up the strength to talk about it just now.. another time maybe?

11. Have you ever polished your floors and then worn socks whilst running to answer your phone? Well don't.. I'll be out for days with this ankle.

12. I have a test today. Oh, you didn't know I was studying astrophysics on the side? Well, you do now.

13. I'm crazy superstitious and my psychic told me never to leave the house on the 13th day of each month.. Sorry! (Obviously this is somewhat limited)

14. My grandma called to say she'd lost her teeth.. I've spent all afternoon looking for those damn things! It turns out she'd put them in the tumble dryer. Bless her.

15. I dropped my apartment key down the drain and now I'm waiting for a locksmith to come and change my locks.

16. I stuck my fingers together with nail glue. I'm off to A&E.

17. I tried out a new brand of fake tan last night and this morning I woke up looking like I've been wrestling with a tin of burnt orange paint. I'm hiding under my duvet until it fades.

18. On my way to meet you, a car drove past and kicked up a stone. Unfortunately, that stone hit me right in the mouth and chipped a tooth.. what are the chances right!? I'm currently sitting in the dentist waiting room.

19. I have a dust allergy and I read last night that a volcano erupted in the Galapagos, filling the atmosphere with ash and other dust particles. I'm staying indoors just to be on the safe side.

20. I'm washing my hair.

Please note: These excuses are not guaranteed to work and are intended for fun purposes only! If you use one of these to get out of work and end up getting fired then don't come knocking on my door! You have been warned! 

What's the best excuse you have used to get out of doing something?

Kirsty xx