Brown Paper Bags

I was MIA yesterday due to the fact that I was partially hungover, (around a stage 4) and I had embarked on an online, brown paper bag hunt that spanned several hours and resulted in me making the following discoveries:
1. There are around 50,347,157 different styles of brown paper bag. Including, but not limited to; moustache printed, scalloped edged, artfully structured and with/without handles. 
2. I should be living in America because they have all. the. things. and I could save enough money on shipping costs to fund a second marriage; should Scott and I get divorced. 
3. The reason for our divorce would probably be brown paper bag related.
4. You can buy candy-striped paper bags in every imaginable colour. Except brown. Nobody likes brown - apparently. 
After deciding that brown paper bags and I weren't meant to be, I began to delve a little deeper into the interweb and made this epic discovery:

It invoked the following three emotions in me:
First, I was like... "Hey! This is amazing. I know where I'm gonna shop should I ever need decorative quail eggs."
Next, I sort of felt angry because there's someone out there having their weird egg requests fulfilled and yet, here I am, struggling to buy brown paper bags. 
Then eventually, I just felt confused. Mostly because I couldn't decide if there were indeed, decorative eggs or if they were real quail eggs - which opened up a whole discussion between Scott and I about incubating and rearing woodland birds.
I toyed with the idea of buying the quail eggs as a sort of, if I can't find what I need, I'm gonna buy what you need type of thing because that's the sort of person that I am but then I was like, "Where would I display such an item?" and, should they hatch, I'd be the parent of twelve quails, plus two guinea pigs, which is way more than any 27 year old, hungover individual should ever have to deal with... That's when I decided I should probably sleep on it.